My Life as a Uterus

Long have I heard the cries of new mothers, claiming they no longer exist once their babies are born. They exist solely as a form of baby transportation and support. For example, they are no longer greeted as they enter a room - either the baby is the only being recognized, or the lack of baby is questioned.

Well, I have noticed that this maternal invisibility begins long before motherhood becomes reality. No, I am not announcing an impending birth in the Flemming household, but rather giving a voice to those of us who have yet to procreate - we are more than the sum of our reproductive organs!!

I, personally, began to lose existence independent of my uterus prior to our marriage, during our marathon dating life. Many assumed after year 7 or so that marriage was not going to happen, so decided to start asking about babies. After the wedding, the voices strengthened, until at this point, on the brink of year 4 of marriage and year 30 of life, the baby expectations have become a deafening roar that sweeps through my brain like a tornado.

Now I'm not saying I don't want children - we do plan to create mini versions of ourselves at some point. That being said, I do feel my right to live life happily without children at the moment is constantly judged and questioned. I know I'm being watched by any number of friends and relatives for signs of hosting another being - in fact, I'm often amazed at how many of life's events can be considered a clue to my plans for being in "the family way". Did she have wine with supper? Why did we all get invited to dinner - must be making an announcement! She's not feeling well - is she knocked up? Look how excited she is about her new nephew - maybe she'll want one herself? Oh, another wedding anniversary, must be planning a family soon! Oh, she's joined Weight Watchers, guess she's not planning to get pregnant anytime soon. Another promotion at work - must mean she's not eager to take time off for a family!

I'm also always amazed at who thinks it's appropriate to pry into this area of my life. I expect it from family and some friends, but I've been asked about kids by former coworkers, friends of my parents I haven't seen in years, and on a few occasions, people I've just met!

The latest pressure point? Work!! In the past two months, two of my coworkers have announced they're pregnant. Seeing as history shows pregnancy among staff members at the Motherhouse comes in waves, what used to be idle speculation about the next to announce has reached a fever pitch to the point I would not be at all surprised if wagers are involved!! And of course, seeing as there are a limited number of us in the childbearing age range and appropriate marital situation (I do work for nuns, afterall) I'm a prime candidate for top spot.

Now I do want to point out that many of the people in my life are allowed to continue their expectations - it's only natural for future grandparents to carry out some stalking, and friends who do so simply to mock remain safe from my wrath : )

But the obsession of the general masses leaves a girl to wonder if she has a purpose other than procreation! I've spoken to friends, and it appears I'm not the only one feeling things in my life are increasingly revolving around the state of my uterus. And making things more complicated is the fact that I do plan to have kids someday. Standing childless in the face of all this pressure would be easier if I had no plans of eventually making all the stalkers dreams come true. That being said, I also refuse to live my life in anticipation of that one event.

So, I say we, the ranks of the Child-Free By Choice So Far (CFBCSF?), need to stand together and be strong and happy in spite of the prying eyes of the masses. Take your time, and boldly enjoy your child-free life for as long as you wish. Go forth and be proud not to multiply!